brainwash

(Love is the blood of the soul. God wants all beings to have healthy and strong souls, so God created a simple law to nourish the soul: the more you give love, the more you receive love. Remember all the beings you love - people, animals - that you haven't thought of lately. Do not wait anymore, reconnect with them today and express your love. )

~ Got it from What God's you to know... It caught my heart and thoughts each time...

Hehehe…How possibly I give it out when I can’t generate it….??!! ’with a rotten smile’ I lost my 1^st love…wasn’t the couple love…accurately refers as philostorgy, love and care towards everything and each person surrounding me…

I wanted simply to let go of everything I hold on, which considerably not essential to be grab tightly… I treasure those emotions, point of views and attitudes that kept me looks good, but inner it was a mess and war… Mindset was on ‘I gonna be strong and stronger by my own… weak will never ever appearing in my dictionary… I won’t surrender nor give up..’

I mutated the kindness I had with hard-heart... There’s once a period in my life, that I hated those whom said I was kindhearted.. You might shock with surprise… I hate it.. for me, to be kind, is identically having being weak and corresponding myself to all forms of hurt… One way out is to be numb and immune…then, tears won’t drop out of my eyes and no matter what people comments about my being, I’ll have no objection on their words…instead, live on my life…

I need no count on anyone… I’m not weak.. I can live and have a better life all by myself… That’s all I had… Cheating myself and persuading myself into a being I wasn’t…ridiculous than hypocrites… The saddest tragedy, my end result comes out, and I became partial heartless individual…

I have the ‘love’ in my heart, I can’t express it well… since I thoroughly tried to erase it from my gene… I can’t cry when I feels like or do I cried flighty.. And it makes me act like an insane… going no way but in midst of cry and laugh… Oh My…That’s really me!! PATHETIC ME!! *ahahaa*

Now, I find no alternative to release my stress… it was a huge mess…worse of worse, sleep is not longer available as my cure for both my stress and anxious… ^^ cheer for ur day, young lady!

Bless me O Lord! I knew just how wicked I am in Your eyes, but please, save me before I lapse into bad character out of my possibilities... In You all things are possible.. Gracious Lord, rekindle my 1st love for You and many....in times of great waves, all I need is You and I need no to be a superwoman, be still and be an ordinary lady who cries upon sadness...

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come